Iranians at UU: 'We’re all emotional and confused'

A., M. and Gohar have asked to remain anonymous in this article to protect themselves and their families from retaliation. Gohar is a fictitious, gender-neutral name chosen by the student. DUB knows their real names. 

“Khamenei’s death represents the end of an era”

"Iran is stuck in a loop. There are protests there every three years now, always followed by a violent crackdown," A., an Iranian PhD candidate at the Faculty of Science, told DUB last week. "I think we'll be stuck in this loop unless something breaks it, either a change in Iran's top government or an external intervention."

At the time, the possibility of an attack from the US was up in the air. "It makes me nervous, of course. Even if it goes smoothly, we'll have a lot of casualties and ruined infrastructure. But if this regime remains, people will die too, and the infrastructure, the environment, everything will be depleted year after year."

A few days later, the attack happened.DUB talked to A. again on Sunday morning, after the confirmation of Ayatollah Ali Khamenei’s death. He expressed a “profound” sense of relief. “For decades, he symbolised repression, fear, and the suppression of basic freedoms. For millions of us, his death represents the end of an era defined by authoritarian rule.”

At the same time, he says this is a “sensitive and uncertain” moment. “There is hope that this could open the door to meaningful change, toward democracy, stability, and a better future for Iran. It’s an emotional time, with cautious hope.” 

“My main concern is my family’s safety”

A.’s past year in Utrecht has had ups and downs. Watching the Twelve-Day War from afar in June 2025 was stressful, but what followed in January 2026 was of a different magnitude. A new wave of protests had emerged, sparked by decades-old frustrations and record-high inflation, soaring food prices and currency depreciation. The economic situation in Iran has deteriorated since 2018, when the US imposed sanctions on the country. The government reacted to the demonstrations with an unprecedented level of violence.

In January, shortly after A. learned about what was going on, Tehran shut off the Internet and phones completely. He and his wife, who came with him to the Netherlands, had no idea if their loved ones were safe. “She cried every day,” he says. The exact death toll can't be known, and estimates vary greatly, but some estimate it could exceed 30,000. “Everybody knows someone who was killed.”

"Our family only managed to contact us two weeks later. They could call us, but we couldn't call them. It was a quick call just to say they were okay. Five euros for a call isn't much here, but to them, it's very expensive.”

When DUB first spoke with A., communication with his family had improved slightly, though they had to install several VPNs to do so. After Saturday’s attack, it all became unstable again. “Internet access has been disrupted, and it’s difficult to stay in touch with them consistently.” 

A. has not had the mental space yet to think about how the situation in Iran might affect his long-term plans. “Everything is unfolding very quickly. At the moment, my main concern is my family’s safety.”

The US President Donald Trump overseeing Operation Epic Fury at Mar-a-Lago on February 28, White House photo by Daniel Torok

"You can't blame them for being desperate"

M. is pursuing a Master's in Nanomaterials Science at UU. She was born in the Netherlands to Iranian parents, but her whole family lives in Iran. 

She could hardly hold back her tears during her first conversation with DUB last week. Her family members were physically okay after the protests in January, but, to her, "safe" means something else. "You're only safe in Iran as long as you stay inside and keep your mouth shut."

According to her, the Iranian government was using surveillance technology to identify demonstrators and capture them in their homes. In addition, her family members had to constantly delete messages from their phones because of “armed people on the streets grabbing your phone out of nowhere and looking through your messages.” 

M.'s last visit to Iran was seven years ago. She hasn't gone back since because things have gotten increasingly tense. In 2022, she participated in a protest in the Netherlands against the Iranian government’s repression of the Woman, Life, Freedom Movement. "I've been scared of being on some kind of list ever since.” 

“Many of us are speaking up now”

She told DUB last week that, despite opposing Trump and Netanyahu, she wasn’t against an external intervention in Iran. "I don't think anyone in Iran considers Trump an ally, but you can't blame them for being desperate. They are terrorised by the Islamic Revolutionary Armed Corps (IRGC) and just want this regime gone. But, after that, we don't want to be another Afghanistan, another Iraq. The people should decide what will happen next."

A few days later, the US and Israel bombed the country, and M. went into a “sort of dissociative state”. She told DUB on Sunday evening that she was “dead tired”. She is happy that Khamenei was killed (“to be honest, death was very easy for this man”), but she disapproves of how things were conducted. 

“They bombed a hospital and a school. Trump bypassed his country’s Congress; the operation did not follow UN rules, and they only did it because Iran didn’t accept whatever deal they were trying to make. Trump and Netanyahu can do whatever they want, which is very concerning.”

An Iranian friend invited her out for drinks to “celebrate”, but M. couldn’t do it. A while later, that same friend texted again, saying she had returned home after just one drink. “We’re all emotional and confused. Our country is at war, and war is never good,” M. says.

She feels that the Iranian diaspora is reaching a turning point. "I think something powerful is happening. Iranians outside of Iran are usually unsure whether to speak up. They don't want to get anyone into trouble. But since January, many of us have chosen to do so.” At the same time, she believes they’re going through an “identity crisis.” M: “People like to take sides, and there are so many sides right now.”

Ayatollah Khamenei. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

"I prefer to see things in a nuanced way"

Gohar* was also born in the Netherlands. Their father is Iranian and moved here in the 1990s. They only visited Iran a few times as a child and haven’t found the opportunity to go back since.

Still, the Master's student in the Faculty of Science feels a strong connection with the country. "Whenever Iran is on the news, I get jumpy. I see an article on NOS, and my whole body tenses up. I can feel myself turning into my father, anxiously watching Al Jazeera 24/7."

Another reason Gohar tenses up is that they know others will ask questions. "Some are happy to listen to me, while others already have their opinion and think I must feel the same way. I feel uncomfortable even when people do listen to me because I’m treated like some kind of representative for all Iranians.” 

Gohar is visibly uncomfortable during their conversation with DUB as well. They take deep breaths and often look down. "I prefer to see things in a nuanced way, taking the context into account," the student says. An attitude that often makes them feel misunderstood.

"A large part of the Iranian diaspora is comprised of privileged monarchists who left after the revolution, a position I'm not comfortable with. This was the first large Iranian diaspora group in the Netherlands, and it became the dominant culture.”

In Gohar’s experience, the Iranian community can be "toxic" at times. They say that Iranians abroad who are suspected of supporting the government have been targeted by doxing campaigns, intimidation, and harassment, regardless of whether that is true. 

“Everyone celebrating the bombing of Iran should be ashamed of themselves”

"Of course, what the Iranian government does is bad, but hardly anything happens in Iran that the US doesn't try to co-opt in some way. The economic situation was largely caused by sanctions imposed by the US. There is almost nothing left to sanction, and sanctions already kill," they argue.

Although they stress that the most recent wave of protests was organic, they believe that the US added fuel to the fire. "When Trump says he will attack if the government kills more protesters, that's already a form of intervention. And he's doing so for his country's corporate interests, not for the people of Iran."

They don’t believe that American intervention is justified and will lead to something better. As a cautionary tale, Gohar mentions Iraq. "Many Iraqis were happy to see Saddam Hussein gone, but hundreds of thousands of Iraqis died as the years went on. The US invasion also gave rise to groups such as ISIS."

If the Iranian government collapses, Gohar fears a civil war or power vacuum. "There are so many factions there. Or the US could install a puppet regime.”

Talking to DUB on Sunday, Gohar was emphatic: “Everyone celebrating the bombing of Iran should be ashamed of themselves. Countless civilians were killed, including at a school and a hospital. This is exactly what I feared would happen, and I’m distraught.”

"I don't think this regime will go away without violence"

Asghar Seyed-Gohrab, Professor of Persian & Iranian Studies at UU, has lived in the Netherlands since 1986. "But, seeing these developments, I'm parachuted back to Iran."

He says that Khamenei’s death is a “game-changer, as he was ruthless in his decisions”. He wonders if his followers inside and outside Iran will avenge him. “How big is his support? How powerful are his supporters militarily? How far will they go if the regime is crumbling?” 

Ahead of this weekend’s attack, Seyed-Gohrab underscored that the Iranian regime “is not easy to topple” as it is “very powerful and not just a newly founded nation-state". He explained that Ruhollah Khomeini, who established the theocratic Islamic regime in Iran in 1979, saw nationalism as a Western concept that was destroying Islamic countries. "So, he talked not only of Iran, but of a whole Islamic world, a community without borders."

That's why the Iranian government funds, arms and trains a network of proxy organisations and militias in various countries, such as Hezbollah in Lebanon, the Houthis in Yemen, and Hamas in Gaza. These groups can be brought into Iran to suppress internal demonstrations or to assist during an external attack.

Hezbollah and Hamas are weakened after their recent conflicts with Israel, making the Islamic Republic more vulnerable. But more vulnerable doesn't mean easy to overthrow. "Unfortunately, I don't think this regime will go away without violence. That's my sad conclusion," he says with a sigh.

The professor emphasises the Iranians' long struggle for democracy. They have been fighting for it for more than 150 years, since the protests against monarchical absolutism in the late 19th century.

Time will tell if democracy will finally come. To Seyed-Gohrab, “the coming days will be crucial”.

On March 19, the Iranian community at UU will gather at the Faculty Club to commemorate the people killed in Iran on January 8 and 9. The event will include lectures, an exhibition and Persian music. UU employees and alumni can register here.