Don't be afraid, embrace the unknown

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Facing ourselves is very fearful, but it is one of those milestones in personal development that no-one can skip. That is the experience of our new blogger Kristof Fellegi, student Master of Business Informatics and founder of the startup Konjoin.

I was a drummer in a punk rock band, living my life from day to day, not doing anything else besides travelling, rehearsing and performing. Still better than a 9-5 job, some might say, but it was not a financially viable option, I could hardly get by. I am pursuing my Master’s degree, founded my own tech startup and chairing a board. I went through an intense personality development in the past 2 years and I am here to share some thoughts about it with you.

Let me start with a short mission statement: I am a young adult in my mid-twenties embracing all opportunities to increase my knowledge. To reach that, I am seeking those ‘independent’, most recent and comprehensive sources. Besides, I am trying to put as much effort as possible into my personal development. I’ve already laid down some principles, but left some space for development. Although I wonder, is there such a thing as a mature personality? Don’t we all change by time and adopt to situations? Isn’t it just an excuse to stop educating ourselves?

If we accept that there is no clear goal to reach, personal development can be a frustrating never-ending story. I’d rather take a holistic approach here. All I am is the sum of my previous experiences. We mature as we go. It’s easy to say I am ‘ready’, I won’t even think of considering the consequences of deciding other than I usually do.

Isn’t it more adequate to recognize and integrate the new traits we come across and learn through life, than to reject them? The emphasis is on integration. Recognizing a new situation is one thing, learning the lesson is another. It is no coincidence the role of storytelling is stressed so much in developmental psychology. Even before we learn to speak, we hear stories, we start imagine things and form our consciousness. This is one of the most essential ways of learning and it is hard coded in our genes. As a child, we tend to accept things easier as we are free of preconceptions. As we grow and experience things, we start to form opinions about our surroundings, start to get feedback and build that into our conscious mind. That’s how our self-confidence is formed (and deformed). After reaching certain milestones at different fields of life we start laying down our own principles based on our convictions. We need to remind ourselves that our opinion, even those principles are not carved in stone!

I felt that I am more than what I was doing, so I decided to change my entire life. Facing ourselves is very fearful, but it is one of those milestones in personal development that no-one can skip. The challenge is to overcome our stubbornness and stay flexible when identifying new situations. Don’t be afraid of taking some risk, embrace the unknown!

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