'A sloppy curve'

Ending a Relationship

A smartphone showing a few text messages announcing the breakup of a relationship.
Photo: Pexels

The end of a relationship is never easy. It is never the right time. Grieving takes time and a lot of effort. It is, after all, the end of a friendship, of a love story. It leaves you broken and sad. How can you focus on anything else but your pain?

Healing is a different process for everyone: some people only need a few days, while others need weeks or even months. After a breakup, time runs faster but slower at the same time. The first few days are particularly miserable. And, when exams are right around the corner, anxiety makes an appearance together with everything else.

I honestly do not know the best approach and I do not think anyone else does. It’s up to the individual to choose what makes them feel better. However, as annoying as it sounds when one tells you that you need to do things to keep your mind busy, they are right. Even though you are unable to move from your bed, it is usually better to force yourself to go out, meet with friends, do activities and discover new hobbies and passions. Of course, time to grieve is necessary and healthy but this time should be limited and contained. 

Personally, certain things have helped me like taking up drawing — I found that the attention to detail and focus that drawing requires was just what I needed. I would spend a couple of hours without taking my eyes off my work. Walks are great medicine too. It is challenging to go outside when there is rain or a storm (thus, in the typical Dutch weather) but whenever there is even a tad of sunshine, make good use of it. Go out with friends and family or, if you are comfortable spending time with yourself, there are thousands of good cafés and restaurants which you could visit.

Lastly, even studying helps. In the beginning, doing homework probably sounds like the last thing you want to do and I understand that completely. Nevertheless, it is a good method to keep your mind off a bad situation. Visiting the library or a nearby café can definitely light up your mood — and who knows… Maybe you'll run into your next significant other.

In general, I found myself unable to keep my emotions to myself. I had the need to talk and discuss everything, multiple times. The most important thing is to find people that care about you and want to listen to your concerns and troubles. I would not be able to keep up without my friends and family to hold me every step of the way.