Love on exchange: a test across borders?

Studying abroad isn’t just a test of academic ambition — it can also put your love life to the test. For those in relationships, the looming question is whether love can survive months of separation, time zone differences, and new routines.For those who are single, unexpected new connections could be around the corner. Yet, navigating romance in a foreign country comes with its own set of challenges: is it just a fleeting adventure or the beginning of something long-lasting? Is it worth diving in, knowing the clock is ticking? Or does the intensity of a limited timeframe make connections feel even more meaningful? Whether holding onto a relationship from home or exploring something new abroad, love on exchange is rarely simple but often becomes a core part of the journey.

‘We had to discuss things you normally don't bring up when you're physically together’

Many students go on exchange to broaden their horizons and try new things. It is a fresh start, an exciting new chapter in a new place. However, although immersed in a completely different reality, some find themselves torn between two worlds, as their heart is firmly rooted somewhere else. This is often the case for those who go abroad while in a relationship. What happens then? How do you keep cultivating a connection from afar, while adjusting to a new life? 

Samuele (21), a third-year PPE student from Italy who spent this past semester studying at the University of Aruba, experienced this challenge first-hand. He shares some insights on how he and his Utrecht-based boyfriend handled a long-distance relationship while living in different  continents. 

“We had been together for four months before I left for exchange. We were really into each other and we both knew that we wanted to make long-distance work. But, honestly, neither of us was sure  how to go about it,” he admits.

Despite the initial uncertainty and doubts, they naturally fell into a rhythm, making time to call daily according to their five-hour difference. “We would usually call right after I drove back home from my classes, which was late in the evening for him. It soon became a routine, but it never felt forced it was actually very spontaneous. When you love someone, you don’t need to remind yourself to talk to them, you just want to. You want to hear about their day, and share yours.”

“During these months, our relationship changed a lot: not just because time passed, but because being in different places pushed us to communicate more than ever,” says Samuele, emphasising how the long-distance dynamic reshaped how they bonded. “We had to talk about everything, discuss every thought, every feeling, things you normally don’t bring up when you’re physically together. Any doubts or misunderstandings had to be worked through in conversation, which naturally led to more arguments.” In the end, Samuele feels that those talks brought the couple much closer. “Now that we’re back in Utrecht and can see each other all the time, that same level of communication is still helping us in ways we didn’t expect.”

Once Samuele’s exchange ended, there was yet another adjustment to make. The excitement of being physically together again was undeniable, but transitioning from a long-distance relationship back to daily life as a couple came with its own set of challenges. 

“When I was in Aruba, even when he came to visit, it felt like it was just the two of us," he says. "But once we were back in our normal routines, we had to figure out how to blend our time as a couple with everything else. With our friends, our individual lives, and all the little things that come with being in the same place again. It took some time, but we have found our balance.”

Staying together long distance became a test of both commitment and patience, one that ultimately strengthened their relationship.

“I knew that if we could make it through long-distance, we would last. It’s something you’re only willing to do if you truly believe it’s worth it. Now, we both feel so secure in our relationship, and we value our time together so much more.”

‘The idea was to end the relationship once I'd go back home’

Third-year PPE student Sarah (22) fron Hungary  fell in love during her exchange semester in Melbourne, Australia. What started as a fleeting connection in a foreign place soon grew into something deeper, filled with adventure, spontaneity, and the excitement of the unknown. But what happens when the exchange ends and reality sets in? 

“During my time in Australia, I really wanted to meet and get to know local people. You know how it goes: a uni friend introduced me to  a few people and my current boyfriend was among them.” She smiles, reflecting on how unexpected the whole thing was. “We met at the end of September last year, dated for about a month, and then became official in November. But the idea was to end the relationship once I’d go back home in December. We were both rather set on that.”

Except they have now been together for five months, turning what was supposed to be a temporary fling into a long-distance relationship. “When we first called it quits, we stopped talking and hearing from each other for a while. My family was visiting me in Melbourne at the time, since I was done with all my classes and I was soon supposed to be back in the Netherlands. But in these days of no contact, we actually realized just how much we missed each other and decided to give long-distance a try.” 

Despite their deep connection, Sarah admits that the early days of maintaining a long-distance relationship were far from easy. “I decided to stay in Australia one more month after my classes ended, so in January we lived together before I moved back to Utrecht. Going from seeing each other every day to not at all was really hard.”.  

Yet, little by little, they successfully managed to build a routine, balancing busy schedules and different time zones. “We try to send each other photos and little videos of what we are doing during the day and then take some time for quality talking. It works best for me in the morning before nine, which is dinner time for him. I like to think that  I start my day and he ends his on a sweet note”. Sarah also highlights the small gestures that have helped keep the romance alive, like sending postcards and even doing online movie nights to maintain a sense of connection. 

In her view, two things are essential to make a long-distance relationship work: open communication and knowing when you’re going to see each other next. “For the both of us it is important to know how the other is doing and what they are up to. I am the biggest overthinker, so always voicing what is on my mind and hearing what is on his helps me not to get into my head.”

Sarah is going to Melbourne for a month during spring break and plans on moving there in September for a gap year. “I know my boyfriend is pretty glued to the place he lives because of his job, so we’re working out the logistics of it all. I can definitely see myself living in Australia, but I want to do my Master’s in Europe first.” She has her eye on a programme in Dublin, which she will be deferring for one year. ”I am confident  we will find a way to make it all work.”

Despite the uncertainties, Sarah remains hopeful about their future together, appreciating the thrill of exploring new possibilities across continents.