Dutchisms

It was only when I was well into my third year as an undergraduate student that a lecturer nervously looked at the class and said, "we have today a foreign student here, so I will give the lecture in English." That lesson became valuable in a way I hadn't expected. I was freed from the lingual burden of associating Dutch words with their English counterparts in the literature, only to be given the burden of stifling side-splitting laughter as hilariously crooked English was pumped in my direction for the next few hours. Never have I taken notes as vigorously as I did then, documenting nothing course-related but rather remarks such as "it's not in the book, but it's lying so beforehand" and questions like "Is someone having an idea?" or "How was the assignment to do?"From that day forth, my ability to listen to the Dutch speak English has been severely altered. I am always listening for and jotting down what I have come to call dutchisms. My graduate studies in business were a gold mine, as it was given completely in English almost exclusively by Dutch lecturers. Some logical lessons included "if no one buys your product you get stuck-up with stock" and the savvy investment advice, "if research costs more than it delivers, never let the research do!" Occasionally, inspiring, successful entrepreneurs and business owners would visit to present their companies, divulging that they "just use normal 'house, town and kitchen' grass" or that "the products are produced in fabrics" and concluding that "before you show customers your product, you must solve all the children diseases."Another generous source of language-juggling mishaps is my family. As you may have guessed from my last name, I am surrounded by Dutch family with whom I also regularly have the pleasure of speaking English. Their occasional grammatical stumbles into Dutch territory hadn't grabbed my attention simply because I had grown up with it; but boy, does it have my attention now! In our (admittedly often off-color) dinner conversations, I have been left with gems such as the odd question "gay women? You mean pots?" or while discussing Utrecht's train station where "there are homeless people on occasion sleeping around" or how my uncle is such a klutz that "even when he changes a lightbulb he makes a shortage!"In the meantime, the book "I Always Get My Sin" was published, which I naturally loved and still find highly entertaining. I had even been considering publishing my own and I still just might. The problem is that the stream is endless. Even at the Keukenhof a sign invites tourists to "come and wonder about our flowers." While their visitors are busy unraveling the mysteries of botany, I am perfectly content wondering about their English. In fact, I admire it; because for all of the awkward, mangled constructions that I observe, I rarely misunderstand the meaning. In that regard, I secretly and selfishly hope the level of spoken English in the Netherlands doesn't improve too quickly. For the most part, it's perfectly comprehensible and dutchisms just give it more character!

Opinie
on 23/06/2010

It was only when I was well into my third year as an undergraduate student that a lecturer nervously looked at the class and said, "we have today a foreign student here, so I will give the lecture in English." That lesson became valuable in a way I hadn't expected. I was freed from the lingual burden of associating Dutch words with their English counterparts in the literature, only to be given the burden of stifling side-splitting laughter as hilariously crooked English was pumped in my direction for the next few hours. Never have I taken notes as vigorously as I did then, documenting nothing course-related but rather remarks such as "it's not in the book, but it's lying so beforehand" and questions like "Is someone having an idea?" or "How was the assignment to do?"


From that day forth, my ability to listen to the Dutch speak English has been severely altered. I am always listening for and jotting down what I have come to call dutchisms. My graduate studies in business were a gold mine, as it was given completely in English almost exclusively by Dutch lecturers. Some logical lessons included "if no one buys your product you get stuck-up with stock" and the savvy investment advice, "if research costs more than it delivers, never let the research do!" Occasionally, inspiring, successful entrepreneurs and business owners would visit to present their companies, divulging that they "just use normal 'house, town and kitchen' grass" or that "the products are produced in fabrics" and concluding that "before you show customers your product, you must solve all the children diseases."


Another generous source of language-juggling mishaps is my family. As you may have guessed from my last name, I am surrounded by Dutch family with whom I also regularly have the pleasure of speaking English. Their occasional grammatical stumbles into Dutch territory hadn't grabbed my attention simply because I had grown up with it; but boy, does it have my attention now! In our (admittedly often off-color) dinner conversations, I have been left with gems such as the odd question "gay women? You mean pots?" or while discussing Utrecht's train station where "there are homeless people on occasion sleeping around" or how my uncle is such a klutz that "even when he changes a lightbulb he makes a shortage!"


In the meantime, the book "I Always Get My Sin" was published, which I naturally loved and still find highly entertaining. I had even been considering publishing my own and I still just might. The problem is that the stream is endless. Even at the Keukenhof a sign invites tourists to "come and wonder about our flowers." While their visitors are busy unraveling the mysteries of botany, I am perfectly content wondering about their English. In fact, I admire it; because for all of the awkward, mangled constructions that I observe, I rarely misunderstand the meaning. In that regard, I secretly and selfishly hope the level of spoken English in the Netherlands doesn't improve too quickly. For the most part, it's perfectly comprehensible and dutchisms just give it more character!

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